Why men don't understand women?

Why men don’t understand women?

The answer to this can be a bit complicated. Most women that I have seen; friends, family, clients, and throughout my travels are not in touch with whom they really are, or what they really want.

We went through a lot of conditioning, social norms, false narratives, and the media. We constantly want to please. We want to please men; we want to please society; we want to be accepted. So many men and women look up to social media influencers as their idols and reference point. As a result, we shy away from being our truth or saying our truth.

When things get deep in relationships, this doesn’t work. The masks fall and men don’t get us. We did not represent ourselves authentically. This is where the confusion comes from. “some women don’t have an intimate relationship with themselves first, so they don’t understand what they want,” A client once told me.

Many women never really took the time to ask themselves, what do I want? What do I really want? Not that girl on Instagram, not that influencer on YouTube, not all these external factors that shape how we think and how we act. So I asked some women I know these questions; Why aren’t they living their own truth and can’t be authentic?

Here are the answers

  1. Tough women are cool.
  2. Emotional women repel men.
  3. I want to look like these badass women who are hustling, killing it in business, and being romantic or emotional does not fit with this image.
  4. Men like rough and hard sex like the women they see in porn.
  5. I want to cuddle more. However, sometimes I’m so scared that men will be repulsed.

This is not to rule out that there are women who are not romantic, and not too emotional. Funny enough, they end up being with partners who are on the other side of the scale.

I had one client who told me that now he pays extra on a website that offers something called “The Girlfriend Experience” because he loves to cuddle after sex, and most women he met through some dating apps like Tinder, don’t. My client said he didn’t show his emotional needs in bed because he knew he would be judged.

If the aim is long-term relationships, we need to communicate who we really are. We would need to self-isolate, eliminate distractions as much as possible, and peel the layers. Ask the Qs; what you need, what you really want? And who you really are? Then communicate that to your partner because guess what, they don’t get it when we send them mixed messages.

So if you like to have more slow sex, more foreplay, to orgasm at least two times before intercourse, just say it.

The Key is to communicate what you like.

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